I took Dad out for a cup of coffee and a muffin at Whole Foods yesterday morning, and took the opportunity to show him my book for the first time.

He looked it over, recognized my picture on the back, and commented on the font of the type on the inside (he was a publisher of a magazine, years ago).

Then he put it down and focused on his coffee and muffin.

I was planning to give him a copy to read and had stuck a bookmark in it. He likes to read though I don’t know how much he comprehends.

When I dropped him back at the Board and Care, it occurred to me to remind him to take the book, but something stopped me.

Realistically, I didn’t expect much from Dad at this stage in his Alzheimer’s disease, but his lack of interest surprised me with a searing sense of loss.

I just missed him. The dad who would have been so proud.