Thoroughly Modern Mimis: Grandkids Say the Darndest Things (Part 2)


Welcome back to Thoroughly Modern Mimis! Mimi, Grammy, Nana, GiGi, Oma, Grandma . . . they’re all terms of endearment for one of the most important roles in life’s second act: grandparenting. And what a grand act it is!

Thanks for sharing your funny grandkid moments last week — I couldn’t help but laugh at the curious ways their growing minds work! Below is another round of stories to brighten your day.

P.S. Congratulations to the winner of a copy of Amish Values for Your Family, SYLVIA SMITHPlease email info {at} to claim your prize.

When my grandson was just 5 years old, I was sitting in my recliner recovering from back surgery, I just had on my gown and house coat, no slippers, when Jamie looked at my feet he said: “Granny, you sure have old toes!” —Sharon Fyffe Owen

My 2.5-year-old grandson was upset because there were no gummy bears. So he sat down, tried to put on his tennis shoes, and told his mommy “No gummy bears, I run away!” —Loraine Patchet Ertelt

When it was time for our great granddaughter to go to school she said, “But Mammy, I don’t have to, you taught me everything I need to know that’s why I’m so smart.” You gotta love it! —Loretta Beavens Boyer

I told my 3-year-old nephew to “Hold his horses,” and he said, “WHAT?? I can’t hold a horse . . . I might be able to pick up a small dog!” —Sharon Needham Lofts

My 4-year-old granddaughter, Naomi, embraced my face in her hands and intently studied my face. I was waiting for the sweet words that I knew were coming, “Gwammie, I love you to the moon and back.” Um, no, those were not the words I heard. Naomi very sweetly said, “Gwammie, you need to shave your lip. Want me to get Daddy’s razor?” —Deb Ragno

When my grandson Josh was about three years old, we were all celebrating Christmas at my daughter’s house. She has a big black lab dog. He was licking my grandson’s head. Josh started running in fright with the dog right behind him. He was saying, “Don’t eat me doggie, don’t eat me!” After reassuring him that the dog wasn’t trying to eat him, we had a big laugh over it. I wish I would have gotten it on video. —Judy McLane

My granddaughter was trying to talk me into letting her take my Play-Doh home. I told her,”Why don’t you ask Santa for some?” She said, “Grandma, I already have my Santa stuff all figured out!!” —Vicki Ferris

Grandpa has an identical twin brother. Grandpa wears glasses, brother does not. 4-year-old granddaughter was sitting in the recliner watching TV with Grandpa. He took his glasses off to clean them and she said “Hey, you look like that other guy!” First time she ever noticed they looked alike. —Cynthia Smith

I told my 8-year-old granddaughter to come along, that we were leaving but she was dilly-dallying around and when I started for the car she yells at the top of her lungs from far behind me, “Wait Nana! Remember … No Child Left Behind!” —Mary Gray Hoffman

Many years ago my sister used to babysit her granddaughter, and in the mornings they would go for a walk. One morning my sis looked down and she said, “Jaimy, you have your shoes on the wrong feet,” to Jaimy replied, “No, I don’t Grandma, they are the only feet I got!” We still laugh about that one. —Anna Wolfe

One day when ordering Chinese take out, my now 6-year-old was 3 and asked if we were getting “pawn crappers.” We cracked up and said “prawn crackers” she looked at us and smiled as if to say, “Thats what I said!” —Zoe Wale

I don’t have any grandkids, but when I was little, I remember running away from home to my Granny’s house (she lived just up the road from us), and she “hid” me in her closet and told my parents she didn’t know where I was. Looking back, I’m sure she was pointing at the closet the whole time to let them know I was OK! When they left, she fixed me some coffee (mostly milk and sugar) and listened to my tale of heartbreak. She finally convinced me to go back home. —Kim Hampton

My grandson, who is almost 3, has a hard time staying in the pew at church sometimes. My husband pastors where we go to church & one Sunday while he was preaching my grandson started to wander out to the aisle. I got up to get him & when I picked him up he yelled, “Help! Help!”. Never a dull service at our church! —Connie Roberts

My grandson, age 4 1/2, his sister and mom were staying with me. My grandson knew I had diabetes. I had a lighthouse cookie jar that makes the lighthouse sound every time you go for a cookie. He was down the hall, and I was near the cookie jar, I took one. He come running out and saying “Grandma, you can’t have a cookie.” I said, “Once in a blue moon, I can.” He ran to the bay window, looked out, and came back saying, “Grandma the moon is not blue.” I have never forgotten that. He is 21 now. —Juanita Wickey

My granddaughter and her family live 1500 miles from us. We see them once a year. When Kambrie was about 9 months old I sent her a lamb that had a recordable song Jesus Loves Me and I sang along. When we saw her when she was 2, she was rather bashful and kept hiding behind her Dad. We just sat on the couch talking to her. Then I sang Jesus Loves Me. Her eyes got as big as saucers and she ran over and snuggled right up to us. —Sylvia Smith

When we were canning tomatoes, the little one asked, “What you doing?” Grandma replied, “Canning tomatoes.” He said, “Looks like you are jarring them to me!” —Deanna S.

“Granma you can hide in the closet and stay here all the time and no one will know … Live with me.” —Sandra Beck

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About Suzanne

Suzanne Woods Fisher writes bestselling, award winning fiction and non-fiction books about the Old Order Amish for Revell Books. Her interest in the Plain People began with her Old Order German Baptist grandfather, raised in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Suzanne's app, Amish Wisdom, delivers a daily Amish proverb to your phone or iPad. She writes a bi-monthly column for Christian Post and Cooking & Such magazine. She lives with her family in California and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne's way of thinking, you can't take life too seriously when a puppy is running through your house with someone's underwear in its mouth.


  1. vickie couturier says:

    I have 13 grandchildren,,and I used to baby sit(free of course) 2 of my little grandsons,, before they started school,,they were almost 2 and almost 4 at the time,i went to the bathroom,,of course I cant close the door because my cat will open it anyway,,the boys are talking to me and suddenly i notice i have both boys the cat and the dog in this tiny bathroom,i said gee boys if i had known this was such a popular activity I would have sold tickets! the oldest one looks at me like in totally crazy and in the poor Mamaws nuts voice says oh Mamaw you cant there is no one else here ,we are all in here with you! i laugh and go DUH

  2. Pat Thompson says:

    For Easter, my husband and I got our grandsons children’s toothpaste packages to encourage tooth care. Knowing that they would be at our house this past week, we bought one for their house and one for our house. When my 5 year old grandson started fixing his toothbrush, he said, “You don’t have pepperoni toothpaste like I have at home.” pepperoni=peppermint.

  3. C.J. says:

    When one of my grand daughters was about 4, we were driving to our church for our ladies monthly meeting. Rae had one lady there that she was VERY fond of, and looked forward to seeing Lilly every month. That particular morning she had draw several pictures to give to her friend, Lilly. After we had traveled about 7 of the 13 miles, Rae remembered that she had forgotten the pictures, and started fussing that she needed to go back to get them. I explained that it was too far, and that we would be late…& suggested that she just visit and maybe Lilly could teach her how to quilt. Rae replied…”WELL, she has already taught me how to quilt, but I am just too little to do it yet!” Cracked me up…as I could just envision her sitting next to 80 yr old Lilly, trying to do those tiny stitches! lol
    Another day, when she was 3, and her Mommy was bringing her to my house, it was POURING down rain, and the sky was very dark. About that time, Rae says to her Mom…”Well I know how Noah must have felt” Catching my daughter off guard, my daughter asked what she had said. Rae pointed out the window, and replied “I said, I know how Noah must’ve felt…just look at that big cloud rolling in!” Like the old saying…out of the mouths of Babes! lol