Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity

These were forwarded to me from a brilliant grammarian (who chose to remain anonymous!). We’re not sure who started it…kind of funny, though. A few were deleted due to crudeness. I run a G-rated blog, don’cha know!

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the Intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Marijuana.”

7. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”

9. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go”.

12. Sing along at the opera.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you have a headache.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I Won! I Won!”

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!”

19. Tell your children over dinner, “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity …

Send This To Someone To Make Them Smile.

Its Called … therapy.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Woods Fisher writes bestselling, award winning fiction and non-fiction books about the Old Order Amish for Revell Books. Her interest in the Plain People began with her Old Order German Baptist grandfather, raised in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Suzanne's app, Amish Wisdom, delivers a daily Amish proverb to your phone or iPad. She writes a bi-monthly column for Christian Post and Cooking & Such magazine. She lives with her family in California and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne's way of thinking, you can't take life too seriously when a puppy is running through your house with someone's underwear in its mouth.


  1. Mocha with Linda says:

    Those are funny!

  2. Elizabeth-Plain and Simple says:

    Love the "diet water" one. I may even give that one a try the next time we go out to eat. Thanks for sharing.