Coffee-Less Starbucks and other Oxymorons

On the heels of yesterday’s Wall Street Journal article that proclaimed coffee to be good for you…I celebrated by going to Starbucks. I ordered a decaf latte with low-fat milk and the server said to me, “Sorry. We don’t have decaf in the afternoon anymore. Not after twelve.”


I get that Starbucks is hurting in this economy, and they need to trim down their overly ambitious menu…but why would a coffee shop cut back on coffee?

I mean, I don’t have an MBA…but it seems logical to make some other cuts, first. Like, why not cut back on decaf in the morning (when people don’t want it) but offer it in the afternoon…when they do?

So now I have to add Starbucks to my ever-growing oxymoron list. “Coffee-less Starbucks.”

Or “Airline Schedules.” Or “Fat-Free Half & Half.” Or “Boneless Ribs.”

I’m even on my oxymoron list! The Choice received a review last week that called it an “edgy Amish romance.” That’s good, isn’t it?

Regardless, “edgy Amish” definitely goes on my list.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Woods Fisher writes bestselling, award winning fiction and non-fiction books about the Old Order Amish for Revell Books. Her interest in the Plain People began with her Old Order German Baptist grandfather, raised in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Suzanne's app, Amish Wisdom, delivers a daily Amish proverb to your phone or iPad. She writes a bi-monthly column for Christian Post and Cooking & Such magazine. She lives with her family in California and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne's way of thinking, you can't take life too seriously when a puppy is running through your house with someone's underwear in its mouth.


  1. Mocha with Linda says:

    "edgy Amish"? That's hilarious!

    And yeah, that makes no sense about not serving decaf in the afternoon. I wonder if that's really true or if the server was just confused. I'll have to check on "my" Starbucks!