Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how ’bout that? I’m
lost! Looks like we’ll have to
stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now
that you’re thirteen, you’ll be
ready for unchaperoned car
dates. Won’t that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your
friends have a certain “it’s
none of your business”
attitude. I like that.

7. Here’s a credit card and the
keys to my new car — GO

6. What do you mean you
wanna play football? Figure
skating not good enough for
you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are
going away for the weekend.
You might want to consider
throwing a party.

4. Well, I don’t know what’s
wrong with your car. Probably
one of those doo-hickey
thingies — you know — that
makes it run or something.
Just have it towed to a
mechanic and pay whatever
he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to
live under this roof without
an earring — now quit your
belly-aching, and let’s go to
the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get
a job for? I make plenty of
money for you to spend.

1. Father’s Day? aahh — don’t
worry about that — it’s no big

About Suzanne

Suzanne Woods Fisher writes bestselling, award winning fiction and non-fiction books about the Old Order Amish for Revell Books. Her interest in the Plain People began with her Old Order German Baptist grandfather, raised in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Suzanne's app, Amish Wisdom, delivers a daily Amish proverb to your phone or iPad. She writes a bi-monthly column for Christian Post and Cooking & Such magazine. She lives with her family in California and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne's way of thinking, you can't take life too seriously when a puppy is running through your house with someone's underwear in its mouth.


  1. Mocha with Linda says:

    Those are funny.

    Actually, #1 is something my husband would say. He is so low-maintenance. When I told him Happy Father's Day Sunday morning, he had forgotten all about it.