A Funny Thing Happened Last Night

I was up in the garden last evening, around 5ish, when my son called to me and said there was someone at the door.

It was a Federal Fraud Investigator.

He flashed his badge and told me he didn’t want to cause alarm…but there was a “situation” that involved me.

Last October, I mailed in my ballot for the presidential election. In November, on election day, my husband went to the polling place to vote about 15 minutes before the polls closed. The poll workers told him that I hadn’t voted and to hurry up and get to the polls. So I zoomed up, told them I had voted by mail…they said it must not have counted…”So vote, Honey!” they told me.

So I did.

And a mere six months later, a Federal Fraud Investigator was at my front door, claiming I had voted twice.

After explaining the situation to the scary Investigator, he took notes and asked if I knew the names of the poll workers. I said no, that they were all as old as Methusaleh, spidery and frail, with ear trumpets and canes and thick glasses. He nodded, gravely serious.

Bottom line, I think I have averted a stint in the federal pokey. That was a relief…because a year or so in prison would be so bad for one’s hair.

Isn’t it good to know how your tax dollars are at work?!

About Suzanne

Suzanne Woods Fisher writes bestselling, award winning fiction and non-fiction books about the Old Order Amish for Revell Books. Her interest in the Plain People began with her Old Order German Baptist grandfather, raised in Franklin County, Pennsylvania. Suzanne's app, Amish Wisdom, delivers a daily Amish proverb to your phone or iPad. She writes a bi-monthly column for Christian Post and Cooking & Such magazine. She lives with her family in California and raises puppies for Guide Dogs for the Blind. To Suzanne's way of thinking, you can't take life too seriously when a puppy is running through your house with someone's underwear in its mouth.


  1. Anonymous says:

    I hope they don’t have to do a recount….for one extra vote

  2. Lindsey says:

    Oh my! That is strange! And so many months after the election…..

  3. Mocha with Linda says:

    Wow. It’s funny – and a bit disconcerting – how scary something like that can be. And I would think it would be easy for them to figure out who the poll workers were – surely they have documentation of who worked at the various times.

    If they come back for you, I’ve never left any comments on your blog. 🙂

  4. heather says:

    I would visit you in jail!

  5. Anonymous says:

    The pokey is NOT my idea of “Shady Acres”! This will put a damper on our retirement plans.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I can’t believe you are serious! You should have just signed in another name since they don’t check id. 🙂 …. hey wait – can I be investigated for suggesting that? 🙂